


4 times you told Tommy you love him and the 1 time he told you

by Brkencxts



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, I did have it checked but you know-, I hope at least, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:33:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25990636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brkencxts/pseuds/Brkencxts
Summary: You tell him 4 times you love him...And then it's his turn
Relationships: Tommy Shelby/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	1. 1: age 16 and 18, Charlie's Yard

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, forgive me for any grammar or vocabulary mistake I make.  
> I had this checked on gender neutral pronounces, but there might be one or two left.

You were 16, he was 18. It was on New Year’s Eve; the Shelby’s had decided to invite a few people to the yard to celebrate the new year of 1909 and it was close to 12 AM. You remember the day like it happened yesterday even if it was years ago.  
Back then, Tommy was happier, more alive, laughed more, smiled a lot and especially at you. Nobody failed to notice how his eyes lit up when you walked in the room. How, every time someone made a joke, his eyes would search for you to see if you smiled because your smile seemed to be his favorite thing in the world.

“10… 9… 8…”

The past year, 1908, you had grown closer to Tommy than ever before and you, too, sought out his smile when someone joked. Your ears seemed to turn towards his laugh whenever you heard him and you blushed profusely when he caught you staring. It was safe to say you had a little crush on Tommy.  
But that evening, you realized you loved him. It was just a simple moment, nothing special, he didn’t save you from any harm, he was just… There.  
You walked onto Charlie Strong’s yard and greeted the Shelbys like you always did. Hugs for Ada, Polly and John, greeting Martha with a handshake, Arthur boomed out your name while he was passing drinks to the guests and you waved back at him and little Finn was clinging to your leg before he got pulled away by his friends to play.  
And then there was Tommy.  
He was talking to Charlie Strong and Johnny Dogs, a bright smile on his face and a laugh escaping him as Johnny said something you couldn’t make out.  
“Look who’s here, eh!” John called out to Tommy while he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you towards him.  
“Alright John,” Tommy chuckled and playfully slapped his hand away from your shoulders, “Hands off, that’s my girl.”  
And while it was just teasing and joking around, your heart had jumped up to your throat and the butterflies turned into elephants. With those words, with just a joke, you knew you loved him and wanted to be his girl.

“7… 6.. 5…”  
“Tommy, where are we going?” You laughed as Tommy pulled you along, hand in yours and a happy smile on each of your faces.  
“You’ll see, patience is a virtue darling,” Tommy answered and pulled a little harder, “c’mon.”  
You weren’t too far away from Charlie’s yard, but far away enough to only hear the laughter when it was loud enough. Tommy suddenly stopped and you almost walked into him. He sat down and pulled you along so you’d be seated next to him.  
“We’re going to watch the fireworks from here. Less screaming children and the noise isn’t as bad.”  
You chuckled and raised an eyebrow; never before had you two ran off to god knows where to escape the noise, why now?

“4… 3…”

You looked at Tommy, they were counting down loud enough for you two to hear and suddenly you had the urge to tell him.

“2… 1…”

So you did,  
 _“I love you Thomas Shelby.” _You whispered softly but loud enough for the words to reach his ears.__

__“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”_ _

__And he answered. Not with words, but with a kiss. He gently took your face in his hands and brought his lips closer to yours, calling out your name in a soft whisper before he placed his lips on yours._ _


	2. 2: age 22 and 24, the train station

1914, the king had declared war on Germany after having offered an ultimatum and the Germans not accepting said ultimatum.  
It had been on the front pages of each paper: Great Britain was at war with Germany and the army was looking for men who’d fight for king and country.  
And of course your dear boys had to sign up.  
You and Polly had been furious when you found out they were drafted and here you stood. On the train station, waiting for the train to depart with Arthur, Tommy and John.

After that kiss at New Year’s Eve, neither you nor Tommy had spoken about it. In fact, you went about your life as usual; you visited often, helped Polly with Ada and Finn (mostly Finn at that, Ada was getting more and more independent) and you and Tommy were back at being best friends.  
And it had hurt.  
He had started seeing another girl; Greta, was her name. But she died a little before this day.  
After Greta had died, Tommy had been heartbroken and therefore not sad when he got drafted. While Arthur and John were happy to fight for their country, Tommy was glad to go so his mind would be distracted.

“Do you have to go, Tom?” You asked Tommy who stood in front of you. You smoothed out the nonexistent wrinkles in his jacket and reached up to fix a few strands of his hair.  
“You know I have to,” he answered monotonously, “They ask us to fight for our country, we won’t say no. We’ll be home by Christmas, you’ll see.”  
You nodded a little. They had said it would be like that; the men would be home by Christmas and the war would be over by then. So you’d let him go.  
“Just come back to me…” you muttered and cast your eyes to the ground. You could no longer stand to look at his eyes. So bright, so blue, so full of life, so… Enthusiastic.  
“Look at me, eh,” Tommy said. He called out your name and repeated his words while hooking a finger underneath your chin to make you look at him.  
So you complied; god knows when you’d see him again.  
“I’ll come back, I promise.”  
“Please Tom…” you shed a tear, the first of many to follow, “Please don’t say that, don’t make promises you can’t keep.”  
He ignored your plea completely and moved his hand to cup you cheek softly, the other was resting on your hip.  
“I’ll come back for you.” He told you sternly.  
The whistle sounded, announcing that the train would leave soon and that all should board.  
_“I love you Tommy,” _you told him and placed your hand over his, leaning into his hand and turning your hand to press a soft kiss to his palm.  
“Come back to me.”__


	3. 3: age 30 and 32, Shelby's residence

They had all come back. The men all came back from the Derby races, Arthur and John were celebrating in the Garrison but you were at home. The Shelby’s residence that is.  
Tommy wasn’t with the men who came back. Polly had noticed as well but was convince Tommy was off minding his own business as usual and being all secretive.  
“It’s Tommy fucking Shelby,” she had said, “God knows what that man is up to these days.”  
But you didn’t trust those words. Something told you that not everything was alright with Tommy but you decided to ignore that little voice in your head and go about your day.  
He’d come back to you… He always did… He promised that day he came back from the war.

The war had taken longer than expected and you had to miss Tommy for 4 years. The letters you wrote each other were becoming inconsistent until Tommy’s letters didn’t come at all. They told you Arthur, John and Tommy had died, their whole troop had. But apparently, they weren’t dead and when you saw Tommy on that train station in Birmingham, you just couldn’t hold back your tears as he approached you and pulled you into a tight hug.  
“I’m here,” he had said softly, “I’m alive. I’m here and I’ll never leave you again.”

Though it soon had become clear that your Tommy wasn’t fully back. Sure, he was there, his blue eyes as observant as ever but he had gotten quiet. His eyes weren’t as lively as before; they had seen too much death to celebrate life.  
The medals he had won, he had thrown in the Cut and he took the business over from Polly and even Arthur. He became the leader of the Peaky Blinders and engaged in illegal things. Things you didn’t ask about as long as you didn’t need to know.

Tommy had been acting weird today; Ada told you he had stopped by and written a letter, a letter that she didn’t need to see but did need to post and he had ben acting weird around you as well. He was… Touching you more.  
After the war, he had withdrawn himself from emotion – so it seemed – and therefore touching as well. But today he had been constantly touching you, his hand never leaving you and if he did, he made sure to be back as soon as humanly possible.

And then he went to those races. He had vaguely briefed you in on what was to happen today.  
“We’re going legal today,” Tommy had said while pulling you closer by wrapping his arm around you shoulders, “Shelby Company Ltd. Will be legal and I’ll buy you all the dresses you want, eh? How about that?”  
“I don’t need dresses, Tommy,” you had snickered and raised your eyebrows at him, “Just be careful out there, okay?”

Finally. You head a door open and close and Tommy walked into the house. He seemed shaken, his hair was a mess and there was dirt on his hands and dried blood on the side of his face.  
Your relieved smile immediately turned upside down. You got up so fast that your chair clattered to the floor as you rushed towards him, your hands cupping his face for an inspection.  
“’s not my blood,” Tommy told you gravely. He let you check him nonetheless but eventually he called out your name a few times, asking you to just leave it already.  
“Where were you Tommy? What happened? The others have been back and celebrating for a while now, why weren’t you with them?”  
You shot your questions almost immediately, followed up weak pushes against his chest.  
Tommy caught your wrist and pulled you closer, halting your actions.  
“I’ll explain later. I just-” He trailed off and let his head hang, lowering his hands and loosening the grip on your wrist.  
And you knew now was not the time to yell at him. So you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. With a little hesitancy in his actions, Tommy wrapped his arms around your wrist and buried his face in your neck and you could’ve sworn you felt a few tears on your skin.  
“It’s okay Tommy…” you whispered in his ear, “You’re home… You’re here… _I love you.” ___


	4. 4: age 30 and 32, Arrow House

Once again, New Year’s Eve. It’s just like every year since 1908; you get thrown back to the moment where you were 16, when you were brave enough to tell Tommy that you love him and he kissed you and how nothing ever came from it either. You know you told him you loved him more times than you thought you would’ve dared, but still… Neither you nor Tommy ever took the next step.  
The next step… What was the next step? You kissed, you told him you loved him… Would the next step be him telling you he loved you? Did he love you like you love him?

“You coming?” Tommy peeked around the corner of the kitchen door, his eyes scanning the room for a second before he walked towards you. You who out of boredom had started to help the servants clean the dishes.  
“You know I have maids for that, right?” Tommy snickered.  
He seemed cheerier than usual, perhaps being with family and friends did that to Tommy. The smile even reached his eyes and his eyes seemed to glisten with a certain look.  
“I know, but I needed to escape the noise for a second.” You told Tommy with a shrug and put down the plate you were washing, a maid almost immediately took it from you as you approached Tommy, drying your hands and placing the towel on the kitchen counter once you were close enough to him.  
“Ada would be happy to hear you felt like helping the maids.” Tommy raised his eyebrows and held up his arm for you to take. You did and he led you out but not to the living room where everyone was drinking and waiting for the clock to strike 12.

Instead, he took you outside to the stables. The horses were out in the field, the night wasn’t that cold and the stable boy would probably bring them inside before the fireworks begun.  
The night was, however, cold enough for you to shiver and Tommy to take off his jacket and place it on your shoulders, his arm soon joining the jacket.  
“You remember the New Year’s Eve of 1908/1909?” Tommy suddenly asked you.  
You couldn’t help yourself, you laughed awkwardly and felt your cheeks heat up significantly.  
“Yeah I remember, I remember each year ever since,” you told honestly and shook your head a bit.  
“How young and naive I was…” you muttered under your breath but Tommy, as observant as ever, heard you. He hummed dismissively and shook his head, stopping in his tracks.  
Again, you weren’t that far away from the family, you heard them as they started the countdown and, honestly, your mind could only dwell on one memory.

“10… 9… 8…”

“You weren’t that naive,” Tommy said softly as he placed his hands on your sides, turning you around to face him. The moon shone brightly through the clouds, reflecting in his eyes. The normally ocean blue turned colder but no less kind towards you. You imagine this was the kind of blue his enemies would see, less kindness in them though, before they met their creator.

“7… 6… 5…”

Tommy cupped your face again, much like he did that New Year and suddenly you were 16 and 18 again, not 32 and 34. Suddenly his hair was a little darker, his eyes a little livelier.  
“You remember what you told me that night?” Tommy whispered.  
Of course you did, how could you forget? It was either the best decision ever made or the worst mistake in your life and here you were, 16 years later and still wondering which one it was.

“4… 3…”

“Of course I remember Tom.” You whispered back. Your lips were almost upon his and you felt his breath warm your cooled lips as he whispered one simple request.  
“Tell me…. Tell me what you told me that night.”  
You stayed quiet for a second. Mauled over his request as well as being curious as to why he would want you to repeat your words.

“2… 1…”

_“I love you Thomas Shelby.” ___

__“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”_ _

__“I know.”  
And he kissed you again._ _


	5. 5: age 32 and 34, the hospital

It was a charity dinner and everything seemed to go alright. The rich people – incredibly boring as they were – all donated a sum of money to the Shelby institute. But everything went to shit when everyone got called to go to the dining room.  
Some man pushed his way through the crowd towards Tommy and you.  
You two were just talking, he was hastily trying to explain some things but before he could get to his point, the man yelled something.  
“For angel!” and the next thing you know is darkness surrounding you and a godawful pain in your side.

You opened your eyes slowly, you eyelids felt like they were glued shut. It was very cliché, but now you did know why it was described the way it was when you read books.  
“You need to eat Tommy, you’ll be no good when you’re half dead.”  
Polly placed a hand on her nephews shoulder but he shrugged it off almost immediately.  
“It’s my fault, Pol, that bullet was meant for me.” You heard Tommy’s voice. It seemed deeper, sadder. It was what made you open your eyes.  
“Tom?” You croaked out, turning your head as your eyes slowly focused on his face.  
“I’m here, darling, I’m here.” Tommy immediately said, his hand squeezing yours gently.  
“What-? Where-?” You looked around confused and then you noticed the dull ache in your side.  
“You’re in the hospital,” Tommy said, “You got shot two weeks ago… At the charity dinner…”  
You heard the emotion in his voice, you heard how he strained to keep talking and while Tommy Shelby never was a man of many emotions, he seemed to tear up at the sight of you laying there in the hospital bed, pale and clearly in pain.  
“I’m so sorry,” Tommy spoke your name in a soft plea; he begged for you to stay, to forgive him but he wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to go.  
“Tommy,” You said, your voice slowly returning to you after he helped you take a few sips from a cup filled with water.  
“I’m alive, I’m okay or at least… I will be okay.”  
Tommy looked up and rose from his chair. It was like you could read his mind; you shuffled carefully in bed, making a bit of space for him to sit next to you and look you in the eye.  
“I could’ve lost you- I thought I had,” he said sternly and leaned closer, “And I never got to tell you… I was planning on telling you… Every time you told me, I wanted to tell you… But I couldn’t- The words didn’t want to leave my lips…”  
Tommy put his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and placing a soft kiss on your lips.

And after 22 years he finally told you what he had wanted to tell you since he was 12 and you were just 10.  
He remembered how he had seen you, 10 years old, caring for a horse and calming it down with your soft voice. He remembered how he had thought ‘Yeah… That is the one.’  
He remembered how he realized he loved you and never stopped, even if he had tried to forget about it with other girls.  
It was always you… And he finally got to say those sweet words. A fact you already knew yet it didn’t fail to make your heart skip a beat or two.

_“I love you.” ___


End file.
